Lonely vs. Alone in 2010


Facing the holidays as a single person can be difficult, and it’s a painful reminder that you’re single when a new year rolls in, but there is a difference between being lonely and being alone…

In Spanish, there is a saying “mejor sólo que mal acompañado” – better alone than poorly accompanied.

In this article, Sherry Argov advises women to exude confidence. Confidence is fine, overconfidence is not. The example she gives of a women preparing leftovers from one date to greet a different fellow on another date does not impart the message “I am worth something” (in reference to the woman), but “I am not going to try to hard to please you” (to the second man she’s dating). If this message is the one received, the woman shouldn’t expect the man to try very hard to please her.

I had some very strong, and admittedly mostly negative reactions to this article, but I think it important to point out that Ms. Argov does point out that she doesn’t think a “bitch” is a mean-spirited woman, merely a confident one capable of taking care of herself. However; I think many people, myself included, define “bitch” very differently and very negatively, and I would say that a bitch is not someone one wants to marry, but someone one generally wants to murder, by backing over her with one’s car several times just to make sure, or any of a multitude of other methods.

[If you’re a liberal or a moderate, just think of Ann Coulter, or if you’re a Republican or a conservative, just think of Hillary Clinton-want to be married to her?]

In short, I think Ms. Argov does women a disservice by labeling every “strong woman who has her own identity and is secure with who she is” – a bitch. I’m not sure every woman who sees herself as secure and strong wants to be thought of as a bitch either.

I also have to say that an achievment-oriented alpha male who is Fortune 500 CEO material and  accustomed to getting what he wants is not likely to take kindly to being “put in check” or hearing cutesy verbal comebacks. Nor is the doctor making six figures with six-pack abs, and “hung like a barnyard animal” likely to believe he doesn’t have easier options than pursue a woman perceived as bitchy.

This site advocates a very different point of view… Although I don’t agree with all of what’s said, I don’t think Ms. Argov has much reassurance for those who do.

Here’s another site with a more objective point of view, but admittedly does favor the male point of view. And here’s one summarizing a Rutger’s University study.

What’s your take?

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